When you can’t find your name on a Coca-Cola can or bottle, know that you have been counted out of the trend. E mean say you no join, as in, you no follow and you no get levels. I am still searching hopefully for my name. The closest to my name which I have found, otherwise, is “Bros”.


Yes I am Bros, no question about that. My sibs and some guys on my street call me Bros. So, yeah, I am Bros. And I found Bros on a Coca-Cola can… on discarded Coca-Cola can- garbage in Bonny Town. I had a mind to write a rant about the haram of it in the Chronicle. But I counseled myself say “no be every time person dey show himself.

The reality is the name you bear  can determine if you sef follow or you be garbage. And the amazing thing is being a Bros I have been counted out, shut down, and shun out of many going-ons. There are things you just don’t partake in if you are Bros. There are things I want do too like toast that fine girl that has just come of age, without anyone raising questions like “habaa, you no know say you be bros?”
God knows how much I long to join the kids during those streetjams festivals to put in a show of my acquired shoki-shoki skills; but I, as bros, am always the one who stays back at home to lock up the gate after the kids, and the to open up for them when they come back from having a good time. The fun of being youthful and free is always had at my expense just because I wear the toga of Bros.

I can’t remember ever not being Bros. It comes with being a first born and oldest cousin. Damn the day that tradition started in West Africa where out of respect or awe, we don’t call older people by their name where we address those older than us as Big Brother, or Big Sister; and as Uncle or Aunty if they are old enough to be our parents, and as Papa or Mama if they are old enough to be our grandparents. In Nigeria, the title of Big Brother is conveniently shortened to Brother (or Broda- if you are speaking Pidgin English) It is Warri, particularly, which came up with the idea if Bros. Now anyone who is your male role model is your Bros- like Alibaba is bros to many a Nigerian ace comedians, and Banky W is Bros to Whizkid, Bros Eghosa Imasuen is my Bros, and I am Bros in my area to the little guys who look up to me as role model.

Big Brosses like us- me, Alibaba, Banky etc, don’t stoop low for every little thing. This is why a Big Bros like me don’t have to date a small girl… like #LindaIkeji .Our elders say na small shit dey spoil yansh.

Yes, I am Big Bros; I jive you not. I searched but couldn’t find my name on a Coca-Cola can, but I found Bros. I have a real name which has a meaning. I just want to live my name and be me; I want to do those things I am really dying to do like not being bros sometime and be free to contend with my younger brothers for the bottom of the beans pot.


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