CHANGE WE DO NOT NEED

It is amazing how so much has changed in so little time. Tecno now pings, BlackBerry Z10 now sell for a ridiculously low price you wouldn’t if you are buying chinko. Somebody in Bahrain now shares my yahoo e-mail address with me, and my non-literate mother is now on facebook.

Time has fast tracked. A lot of things have advanced, and a lot more people are being left behind in the rat-race of get-rich-quickly-or-die-slowly.- I missed that tide myself- but I will catch when I start gong out again- that is when I am sure the new Ebola vaccine works better than Salt-Water Bath.

The borders of the global village, where we are exiled, have so shrinked that a disease like Ebola can break out in New Guinea, and some person in Liberia can infest another person in America, and the American can start an epidemic in Nigeria with the viral infection.

It is amazing too how quickly we can take off the hatchtag from #BringBackOurGirls and paste it smack on Ebola. Me, I don’t like that kind of change o. Just imagine: my water closet used to be the inspiration threshold where I meet and romance with the muse; the WC is also where I get the most stable internet connection- being 3G- but I have been here for almost one hour now, after I dropped the last batch of sheet in the commode, and my BlackBerry is still in SOS mode. Good to know shaa that inspiration is not lost on me as I type this rant.

Now, another change that has not gone down well with me, is how more quickly celebrity marriages fail these days. I was the gladdest person alive when the news came that my friend, the ace female comedian, Princess has gotten married. She was growing bigger and her the hands of her biological clock had started to run away from her when her Knight In Shining Humour got to her. I could have married the surplus-size crush of mine if I had a polygamous bone in my body. The woman is equal to four regular-size ones, and marrying her would have been meant having a surplus wife. Now news reaching me says her marriage has failed.

I also discovered that the number of my friends on facebook has dwindled drastically. I am not surprised at this sort of change, because I see it as an evolutionary process of Natural Selection. I see that only those with iron constitutions have stayed to keep sharpening my own iron. Iron sharpens iron, so says the Christian Bible, I am sure the others who fell away couldn’t stand all that chaffing, scrapping, and opposite-way-rubbing.

I am just going to comb through, when I get a good network, and get rid of the remainder of the porous breed of friends. It will be a service, and in accordance with the maxim of my wise friend Charles DeGaulle (1890-1970) that goes, something like, CHANGE YOUR FRIENDS and you will change your world. (The words in lower case are mine, and DeGaulle is not culpable for such quixotic nonsense)

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