“Brother is this the first time you are fellowshiping with us?” A redlipsticked bright eyed, and nicely smelling sister who appeared by my side, asked, disrupting my peace as I pinged away on my bb, I was having a hard time shutting out the sermon being screamed at the congregation from the pulpit.
The question threw me off balance. I’m sure I have blinked at that angelic face several times, with my jaw hanging slack and mouth open, eyes wide, gawking at the cleavage just above my head. I answered by nodding. “You are welcome; This is World Wide Web Church of Christ our Good Shepherd and Saviour Son Of God Ministries International Incorporated…” . my jaw dropped to the marble-tiled floor as the cleavage came lower and closer to by face.
It wasn’t my first time in the church, but I never knew the name of the church run into a whole sentence, albeit disjointed. That wasn’t about the name of the church really. She asked further: “are you married?” I shook my head vigorously, and she continued: smiling a Mona Lisa smile, “then you should join us on the 24th of this month for our annual Singles Retreat. The theme of the program is You Are The Bone Of My Bone. It is going to be wow!”
“Wow” I echoed letting go a few drools. You wouldn’t blame me for slobbering, I was seeing an angel in flesh. Besides a Brotha could lost his head in that cleavage. This young lady was drop-dead gorgeous. She could have been taken for an apparition of Aaliyah. Maybe she wasn’t an apparition, maybe she was Beyonce’s twin sister. I was trying to sort that out mentally when something clicked in my head “How about you? Married or single?” I heard myself ask. “I am single of course (moron)” she said. She could have verbalized the word in brackets and it would have come out right as a compliment. She had that grace and aura about her that made every of her word and gesture scripturally correct and hallowed.
“My name is Chris, Chris as in pastor Chris but you may call me Brother Chris”. I was just blabbing, opening my arms wide for a hug, but she took my right hand and shook it gently, and firmly. I was just going to add: “I love beautiful women. I want to live in a world full of them. This is why I don’t want to go to heaven when I die, I want to go Venus…” When the church suddenly went quiet; the Pastor had announced over the loud speakers “brethren, it is offering time” it was so quiet I could hear the fluttering sound of my batting eyelids. A still small voice had said “stop talking shit, jackass!”. So I thought the better of telling her about my one life’s goal that time.
She said her name was Sister Mercy, and I said my name again, and reeled out my bb pin, and Twitter handle, and facebook name. She stood erect walked away but reminded me about the retreat date. My eyes had followed her all through the rest of the service. At the close of church I had sought her out and I lost all interest in her. I lost my Christian Brotherly Love for Sister Mercy because she broke my heart by what she did. I had tracked her down to the rest rooms, and I saw her…with a brotha (What the fuck was she really doing to him that time? Blowing out the speck in the brotha’s eye? It looked to me like she was breathing the breathe of life into his lungs, and the brotha’s arms were wrapped around her midriff, for support I guess. What the hell? I got a log in my own eyes and I could use a breathe of life in my lungs. I called to her, but she seem to not hear me, or was she ignoring me?
Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.