Chose you this Monday who you will work for. A Scatter-Brain or a Shit For Brain boss, who will you rather work for? I will give you a clue for free (friends only). And please do not share this, it is confidential.
I like Shit For Brain bosses less. They tend to have too much of nick, knack and junks stuffed up there in their attics. They always seem to have a bee buzzing round and round and round, in their golden bowls. They are too straight-faced for my comfort. So straight you would think a stick has been pushed up their spine through their rear openings. These sorta people are the geeks- special breeds like Gates, Jobs, Zuckerberg, and the Next Moron that makes it to the top of the digital food-chain.
These people (if we can call them people at all) are the Digital Natives of this planets, and the rest of us are the Aliens. Their dexterous fingers are always on our buttons, especially the CTRL and SHIFT buttons. Only they know how to work it, and make us work in their virtual plantations (no pun intended) but they are the kings and Queens, and we are the puns. We do the dirty jobs, they take the sweet-smelling dough, and lay us off in droves when we get burnt out.
You are supposed to think, act, breathe, pee, shit fuck like a robot if you got a SFB as boss. You think SFB are the endangered specie for their relatively small population on this dying planet? Pooh! Think again! they are just everywhere dictators could be found.
No, no, no, no, don’t you dare think Hitler, Mussolini, Saddam Hussein, Idi Amin, Bob Mugabe or Muammar Gaddaffi- these guys are mere hot-air-for-brains, they ain’t as full of shit as the others. They are themselve underlings in the dung-pile of dictatorial fiefdom.
I like Scatter Brains better. They are the ideal sorta bosses. Excellent to work for. Great Team Players they are.
With a scatter-Brain boss, everyday is Good Friday because they hate Mondays too.
They often forget who is boss, and they play gofer, running the errands for coffee and cigarettes, bubble gums, and condoms too, if you ever needed one in the office.
A scatter brain boss lets you count the loot and do the math; and if you got it wrong they never notice, or simply ignore your dumb-ass mistakes.
You are never tight-assed around a Scatter Brain boss, because you are at liberty to go poop or take a leak or jack-off during bored meetings.
With a scatter-brain boss you always meet your deadline. If you get two weeks late in handing in your report, don’t worry, just explain the situation to her slowly, slowly, slowly. Make her see that the deadline is still two weeks away. Observe her roll her eyes heavenward and apologize for bothering you too soon.
If you arrived at your 9-5 by 4:30 pm, complaining about bad traffic or nagging wife or recalcitrant girlfriend, she gives you the rest of the day off, to unwind.
NOTE: I did not abbreviate “Scatter Brain” to the acronym “SB” because that will make my boss look like a Son-of-a-Bitch. He really is a nice guy, when he’s not jerking around, dramatizing Niccolo Machiavelli’s “The Prince”. My boss got brains as well as stashed-away vintage here, there, and everywhere.
My boss will let you use his crib or sit in his swivel chair to take a mid-monday nap if you came to work with a hang over. The jolly-good chap allows you access to the hoard of liquors stashed away under his desk, if only you would ask nicely.
If you emerged Best Staff of The Year, you get every Monday off thereinafter. A Scatter Brain kinda bossing is very good for Monday work ethics; A Monday could be such a drag you know, and we all could use some respite sometime.
Tomorrow is Monday (every dreary day is Monday except Friday) It will be your chance to find out if your boss is a native or a alien. Shit For Brain (SFB) boss is still a lot to be thankful for. Folks are worse off: they got computers and micro chips for bosses. With such Artificial Intelligences (A.I.) you never know where you stand.
GOOD LUCK AT WORK TOMORROW FOLKS