YOU NEVER KNOW WITH WOMEN

There are things you will never know about women: things like when they’re faking orgasm; things like when they really mean “yes” inspite of screaming “no!” Things like whether to go on when they say stop! And things like whether to let them have your password, also whether to let them hold both ends of your purse strings. They seem always on top of things, and we could learn things from them. But you just never know with women. So out doubt, we cling tenaciously to their apron strings.

Men are somehow like rational beings. Unlike robotics, men are designed to learn and acquire wisdom as one of the principal things in life. And learn they never do, unless the lessons are driven home with good measures of hard knocks. Our dear Mothers are our first teachers, girlfriends are second, wives third-and-last unless we put in more efforts in the learning process, and take on concubines.

My father learnt, I am learning, and my son (whenever he gets bornt) will have to learn too. It is the great circle of life we are all bornt into. This great circle is like a wheel, always turning, and men, good men, strong men, wise and not-so-wise men, keeping falling off the turning wheel, but we are all learning in the process of trying to get back on, encouraged by cheerleaders. We are cheered on by the women in our lives, until our brief, brief span is exhausted in the trying process.

Many of us men try too hard; many spend all their lives learning, that they forget to live. The much living we ever get done, is the much the women dole out. Sometimes we mensfolk go about life like donkeys with carrots dangling very close to the tip of their snouts. Some men actually have apples dangling tantalizingly in front of them, and that keeps them going on and on and on in this the great circle of life. We never get to have a fill of that dangling carrot, or tantalizing apples because the fruits of paradise are forbidden to us. A man’s life reaches climax the day he manage to nibble at those forbidden fruits. These things are the end of man’s life.

You just never know with women, and don’t ever pretend you do. The World’s first man, Adam thought he knew his wife Eve, until she set him up with an offering of Apple; the world’s strongest man, Samson deluded himself thinking his girlfriend Delilah meant well, until she got every ounce of his manpower sapped; the world’s wisest man, Solomon assumed wrong that he was in charge until his assortment of concubines lured him away from his throne. Think Anthony and Cleopatra; think our erstwhile Napoleon Abacha and la Geishas;

All men, great and small, dangle at the end of women’s apron-strings. We are puppets. Dear rag doll puppets. There seems to be nothing we’re gone do about it. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.

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