THE THINGS WOMEN DO TO MEN

Gimba Kakanda, my very good friend, wrote:
“Is that not a strange case of psychosis, a man asking a married woman out, defying her staid leave-me-alone threats? So, man, if you don’t heed mine too, there’s no better option than having you ‘treated’ by some ‘hoodlums’ if your phone number appears on her screen again. Crass!”

And I replied:
What about some womens wey dey front like say dem dey single and free, dey preen, dey wag their tail, dey blink those forever pretty eyelashes at us unsuspecting brothas? Any of us here can fall prey. So think before you be the first to cast a stone at the poor brotha.

Garba Aliyu, another good friend contributed:
“Prey? Okiri, you sound like a suspect o.. Lol. Wait, why would one continue even when a lady says ‘no’. She’s an honoured housewife and the brotha is a psychopath from his interest in OPP – Other People’s Property!”

Mr. Garba Aliyu had earlier said ” A lady’s display of her beauty is a freedom she relishes. Something that gives her inner joy, it’s not an invitation for flirting. Yes, ladies love their respect. And a man forcing himself on one is one thing I won’t encourage. If it comes to a married woman, I can put a dagger on the chap’s throat.”

Me: never to be shut down in a argument, went on to say:
I am suspect? Well, I am only a man, if I am, then Man is. But I know the limit of flirtation, and that is not when the woman says NO. In fact NO is a “come on” signal. It is a game people play. We all play at it by some primordial instinct.

But if this brotha is a certified moronic sucker for OPP, then I recommend to take him to one of these Cele churches in Lagos where they will flog the devil out of him. Don’t be skeptical about this, it works. A psychopath is not one of us, and not for us therefore is against us, thus we dissociate and distance ourselves from him.

But then, who can resist the charm of the feminine mystique? Especially if she is la “femme fatal”: our progenitor Adamu couldn’t resist Eve. Samson was a sucker for Delilah’s charms, King Suleiman the wisest Man ever lived, who got lured into direpute by the seductive women, how about King Daud father of Suleiman, a man after God’s heart who descended from his exalted position for a quicky with Bathesheba, the wife of his subject? This so called weaker sex could have done the holy prophet Isa ibn Yusef in, if he was a mere man, but he was no ordinary man.

What can a brotha do then, when great men had fallen to the charms of la femme? The stories of Anthony and Cleopatra, Bonaparte and Josephine, Our own Abacha and The-Apple-Given-Geishas, are still fresh on minds. Well, I will stop making excuses for the Male Man’s vulnerability and gullibility, since there is an inexhaustible supply of grace. Did the good book not teach us to pray to the almighty for deliverance from Eve? We can always pray as a diversion from the lust of the eyes.

My advice to Men thus will be “watch and pray that ye fall not into temptation”. I have learnt that in these dire circumstances, the “Hail Mary” is ineffectual. What I do, and I recommend to all men of good will, is cleave to “The Lord’s Prayer” or keep reciting the Al Fatiha aloud until that sweet small urging voice is completely droned out.

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