“You don’t smoke, you don’t drink, you don’t flirt, What are you? An alien? I can’t trust you, and I won’t date a guy I can’t trust… (Talk To The Hand)” The chic asserted, leaving the air fuzzy and Brotha Not-I in a daze. A Man with the potentials of “saint” has just been declared a persona non grata: a person unacceptable and unwelcome in society of Homo Sapiens.

Wherever that myth came from that Men (Male Men) are creatures of vices? As a Male Man, is a brotha supposed, by default, to indulge in one or all of smoking, drinking and whoremongery (womanizing to put it mildly)? I think not, but that is my personal bias.

This very decent-looking, Daughter of Eve, condescending in her high-fallutting tone and mien, had asked the puzzled Brotha Not-I

“how do you manage stress?

This question does not seem a brainer, but a brotha must need think before he opens his mouth since whatever he says may count against him. How do I manage stress? How does this question relates to Smoking, Drinking, and womanizing? I can’t seem to get my head around it? I’m sure I have not become such a dumbass, but am I such a throwback to have missed a trend?

I wonder if some smarter ass reading could bring me up to speed on the latest trend in stress management? A brotha don’t need to puff away his tensions or drown his troubles in liquor, or go skirt-hunting for sport, does he? Well, this is Moi searching for an answer now, I could use some help here, if you please!

“Who loves not wine, woman and song
Remains a fool his whole life long.”

That quote is attributed to Martin Luther (a German theologian and christian reformer) and I believe it. Therefore if “wine women and songs” is the way to go, then my work is done. I need not fear or tremble in the face of censorship, if Men are configured that way by their maker. Isn’t life and living all about the pursuit of happiness? We would have attained “the good life” if we are steeped in the sheer pursuit of happiness. Who will crucify a brotha for seeking after the gladdening of his very soul.

Be the foregoing as it may, not all men necessarily indulge in all three: some drink, and womanise and don’t smoke, some drink and smoke and find comfort in the bossom of their legally wedded spouse, there are others who womanize without drinking or smoking (unless it is Alomo or Mary Joana) I know some good christian brothas with whom I contend every time in the endless sport of skirt-chasing. There are born again brothers who indulge in everything moderately: they drink responsibly, they don’t inhale any more fume than second-hand smoke. They chase after skirts only to touch the helm of the garments.

Woe betide whoever denies that Sistahs manage stress better than Brothas. There is Izeta, my old chorister girl friend, whose Doctor recommended Benson & Hedges to help with her asthma. There is also this girl friend I loved, (Who-Must-Not-Be-Named) Teacher, who has a knack for instantly becoming a philosopher-poet after a few whiff from Mary Joana. And there is Comfort (Born Again) who seldom go without little-by-little wine for the belly’s sake at the stroke of 17:59 every blessed day. Well, enough of the sistas, this is about us Brothas.

We smoke, we drink, we chase, but not for the reason The Daughter of Eve thinks we do these things. We do them because if we don’t, we may take out our stress on the weaker sex. We are civilized beings and we are responsible. Lost indeed, is the man who do not The Things Men Do. How can such a one stand up in the midst of his natural peers? I doubt if that man will even be blessed amongst women.

It is not far fetch to occupy the footnote on every page of the bible with the timeless postulate of Saint Martin Luther (1483-1546) that:

“Who loves not wine, woman and song,
Remains a fool his whole life long”

A word is enough for a man who has an ear. Peace!


2 thoughts on “THE THINGS MEN DO AT 17:59

  1. I personally think such a man is a very wise man. He should just be patient. As for the decent looking girl, well appearances can be deceptive. There is a young girl in my church I am counselling now who is suffering from over spirituality. At least that is the name I give it. A young man approached her and she rejected him bcos according to her, she’s not sure of his spiritual stand. Why? She caught him listening to Lionel Richie’s “How Long? I immediately brought out my laptop and showed her my extensive collection of blues from the 80s and 90s. I then asked her if she thought I was going to hell for listening to such music. Then I asked her why she was wearing jeans. Most people think christian women shouldn’t wear trousers. Is she not afraid of people labelling her unchristian? She had no reply to give me. So my bro, stick to your principles. The woman who deserves them will come along.


  2. Wow, Abioudun. That was really profound. So over-spirituality can be a pathology, which sufferers needs counseling for. I am not surprised, and I think you did well by that young lady.

    I ask for your permission to share your comment on my facebook wall, if you please. Thank You.


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